The art of moving on: Does life still go on?

Why do we struggle while moving on?

But life still goes on
I can't get used to living without living without living without you
By my side
I don't want to live alone, hey
God knows
Got to make it on my own
So, baby, can't you see
I've got to break free

All of a sudden, I was carelessly humming the Queen song in Freddy Mercury’s voice as it played on one of my mindless YouTube playlists.

I want to break free… Freddy continues, almost shrieking.

I’ve always wondered what would be going on in the lives of artists when they write a song.

This time seems to be a time of change for Freddy, who is pondering leaving a known life that no longer satisfies him. Yet, even so, change seems to scare him, doesn’t it? He recognizes that he must do it, but only GOD knows how he will achieve it.

Indeed, change can be a challenge for many of us. Afterward, it is not for nothing that is said that man is a creature of habit.

Moving on and its significance in life.

In fact, the winds of change can be extremely challenging at times. When the old has not yet passed away, but the new has not yet been born, our beliefs, fears, and faith are tested.

Therefore, finding ourselves amid uncertainty and with the sense of responsibility that every step we take now may define the course of our life is not for the faint of heart.

Letting go of what it was marks the end of one era and the beginning of another. Thus, there is often too much pressure on our weary steps sometimes. It’s quite a significant period in life.

Change changes:

Periods of change in my life have often been quite intense. I don’t do things halfway, so every time I go through a change, it feels like I’m being uprooted and spun around on a roller coaster.

I will never forget the time when I had a car accident but miraculously survived, ended a long-term relationship, lost my job, and returned to my hometown in less than a month. To top it off, I found out that my mother’s house no longer had a room for me to stay in, but thankfully we figured it out.

However, I’ve noticed that changes in my life take longer nowadays, almost like an eternity. Why is that? Also, my attitude toward change has changed greatly.

We may grow accustomed to our discomfort over time. In the words of my trauma therapist teacher, we all have a zone where we can stay regulated, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be comfortable.

According to Sadhguru, we have stopped looking at life with zest. Thus, from a wild appetite for life at 18, we have come to a cocoon of comfort after 35. We have changed from having the wildest dreams about what we wanted in life to thinking that if we don’t get into trouble, we’ll be okay.

But life is change and movement itself.

Understanding the Need for Change and Moving on

If you resist change, you resist life.

Sadhguru

The inevitability of change and its impact on our lives.

Change is the only constant in life, even from an evolutionary point of view. In The Origin of the Species, Charles Darwin told us that.

It’s not the strongest or most intelligent of the species that survives but the one that’s most adaptable to change.

Charles Darwin

Others would like to clarify that Charles Darwin didn’t say that only the strong survive. But those who survive are the ones who most accurately perceive their environment and successfully adapt to it.

It really touches me.

It’s about accurately perceiving the environment = accepting life as it is, and successfully adapting to it = a less resistant path.

As I see it, we all speak about the same things at the end of the day, only using different languages and approaches. Isn’t that beautiful?

The importance of adapting to change for personal growth. Moving on with grace.

Accept – then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

Eckhart Tolle

The ease or discomfort with which we accept change while moving on is our decision and will greatly impact our lives. Our determination to hold on to the familiar will not stop the inevitability of change; it will only make it less bearable.

Humans tend to want to stick with what they know because they consider it safe and familiar. It’s how we’ve survived as a species to this day.

The movie The Croods shows this in a picturesque way:

“Curiosity – Bad. New – Bad. … Basically, anything fun is bad. Welcome to my world.”

Grug: “Fear keeps us alive. Eep—never not be afraid.”

Eep: “I get it, Dad. I get it. I will never do anything new or different.”

Since we are no longer in the caves, there’s no need to remain the same. When we refuse to change, we are refusing to grow. Moving on no longer needs to be dangerous.

Embracing Transition

According to Marisa Peer, a renowned British therapist, one way to overcome fear and, consequently, be able to change is by becoming familiar with the unfamiliar. We can achieve this through affirmations and meditation.

Challenges and emotions associated with letting go of the past.

It can be challenging to deal with the emotions that emerge when we let go of the past.

Silencing our inner critic, who wants to act as a negative personal coach, reminding us of everything we did wrong and warning us about everything that could go even worse, is a task we can overcome only by being alert, aware, and distancing ourselves from this voice.

Rumination won’t take us anywhere.

Practical tips for navigating transitions and embracing change.

Refraining from idealizing the known past and closing the chapter on what should and could have been is crucial to moving forward. We must learn to process life as it is, renouncing what we would like it to be. Not as if we were giving up at any point, but as surrendering to what is. In a wise man’s words, it will sound like this:

The Way it is is the Way it is, and it cannot be any other way.

Sadhguru

One common pitfall is falling in love with someone’s or something’s potential and losing sight of reality.

Seeing things as they really are can save us from wasting precious time and energy.

Accepting the present moment and taking full responsibility for our actions and responses can lead us to the new chapter we so much need.

According to Standford’s study, the Fear of rejection can linger in people for an extended period. Making it difficult for them to move on to their next chapter and negatively impacting their relationships. Being rejected by someone who knows you well and voluntarily decides to no longer remain by your side can wake up some of the deepest fears and insecurities, making you question your worth, mainly if it’s a romantic relationship, representing a tremendous threat to the self. Linking this rejection to a feeling of unworthiness.

Practical tips for navigating transitions and embracing change.

• Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions without judging or repressing them. Be kind to yourself.
• Give yourself space. Remove yourself from the environment you are trying to leave behind until you are in a better emotional place.
• Embrace and own your story and your mistakes. Get insight from what you’ve lived. Don’t play the victim role. Identify learned lessons you can integrate and grow from.
• Pamper yourself and do enjoyable things to boost your mood.
• Try new things and keep yourself busy.

Finding Purpose and Passion

The opportunity for self-discovery and pursuing new passions.

As every ending is also a new beginning, we must explore a new way of approaching life. We can embrace this challenge as an opportunity and ask ourselves about our nature. We should list our beliefs, goals, and dreams and readjust them to adapt to the new person we are becoming.

Living one day at a time without trying to figure out the whole path can significantly reduce anxiety about the future. As Ana says in the movie Frozen,

You just do the next right thing
and take a step
step again
it is. I won't look too far ahead. It's too much for me to take. 
But break it down to this next breath, this next step, this next choice.

Does life still go on? The art of moving on:
Embrace our support while you master the art of moving on