Why We Fall for Appealing Fictions and How to Break Free

appealing fictions

Many things in life can seem true simply because we desperately want them to be. Jason Zweig, author of The Psychology of Money, refers to these as “Appealing Fictions.” These are not just harmless illusions; they are compelling stories that arise when intelligent individuals face a potent combination of limited control and high stakes. In such cases, what happens is the desire for clarity and certainty can overpower logic, leading us to embrace narratives that feel right but often aren’t.

In moments of uncertainty, our brains latch onto these narratives, offering us a sense of control even when the foundation of these beliefs is shaky.

But why do we fall for appealing fictions, and what can we do about them? Instead of feeling helpless, by understanding the psychology behind it, we can begin to identify the stories we tell ourselves, choose better paths, and ultimately grow into more self-aware and fulfilled versions of ourselves. This knowledge empowers us to take control of our narratives and steer our lives in the desired direction.

Understanding the Power of Cognitive Biases

Our brains are wired to seek patterns, even when none exist. This phenomenon, known as apophenia, makes us prone to seeing connections where there are none, reinforcing our belief in appealing fictions. Understanding cognitive biases—such as confirmation bias and optimism bias—can help us become more discerning about the narratives we accept.

But why do we fall for appealing fictions, and what can we do about them? Instead of feeling helpless, by understanding the psychology behind it, we can begin to identify the stories we tell ourselves, choose better paths, and ultimately grow into more self-aware and fulfilled versions of ourselves. This knowledge empowers us to take control of our narratives and steer our lives in the desired direction.

The Allure of Appealing Fictions

Appealing fictions are attractive precisely because it promises simplicity in the face of complexity. When faced with uncertainty, our brains crave resolution, even if it means filling the gaps with unverified assumptions.

We tell ourselves a lot of financial myths. For example, think about this story: “If I just work harder, I’ll be financially free,” or “Investing is too complicated for someone like me.” These narratives can keep us stuck in cycles of poor decision-making because they feel easier to believe than the more challenging truths of financial literacy or discipline.

Zweig’s insights show how even the most rational people can succumb to these traps. When the stakes are high—whether it’s our money, relationships, or sense of identity—the pressure we put on ourselves to find answers can lead us to cling to oversimplified solutions.

Appealing fictions make us feel safe, even when they lead us down a path that isn’t aligned with reality.

The Cost of Believing Appealing Fictions

Embracing appealing fictions can come at a significant cost. They often lead us to make poor choices, not because we lack intelligence but because emotions rather than facts guide us. Ángeles Mastretta captured this perfectly in Mujeres de ojos Grandes when she wrote,

She fell in love as all intelligent women do… like an idiot.”

This isn’t just about romantic relationships; it’s a metaphor for the moments when our desires override our better judgment.

Consider someone who desperately wants to believe their toxic relationship can improve despite years of evidence to the contrary. Or the entrepreneur who clings to a failing business model because they’ve already invested so much time and effort. In both examples, the appealing fiction we cling to are not just stories but barriers to growth that keep us stuck.

We often devalue ourselves, ignore our inner wisdom, and sacrifice our well-being by clinging to these narratives.

By holding onto these illusions, we not only limit our personal growth but also delay necessary change.

appealing fictions

Why We Create Narratives to Fill Gaps

At the core of appealing fictions lies the human tendency to create narratives that fill in the gaps of our incomplete worldviews.

From a young age, we build mental models of how the world around us works.

These models help us navigate life without constant confusion, and fear for sure, but they also limit us when they’re based on faulty assumptions.

For instance, if someone grows up believing that success is only attainable through suffering, they may reject opportunities that feel “easy,” even when those opportunities align perfectly with their goals. This happens because their mental model doesn’t account for the possibility of joyful success.

The challenge we face is that, more often than not, we don’t recognize how limited our understanding truly is. When confronted with uncertainty, we tend to fill in the gaps with what we already know, even if that information is incorrect. This can lead us to make decisions based on outdated beliefs or incomplete information, which perpetuates the cycle of misguided assumptions.

Consciousness and Filling the Gaps

How we fill the gaps in our understanding is profoundly influenced by our level of consciousness.

When we operate from a place of fear, insecurity, or desperation, we’re more likely to create narratives that limit us. However, when we approach life with self-awareness and a growth mindset, we can choose stories that empower us. This realization can inspire and motivate us to actively choose narratives that lead to personal growth and fulfillment.

Developing awareness and self-inquiry helps us question the assumptions we take for granted.

David Howkins, a well-respected psychiatrist, argued that our consciousness and emotions are the primary forces shaping our experiences.

According to Howkins, our ability to process emotions and raise our vibrations directly determines the quality of our lives.

For instance, if we observe ourselves, we might recognize that our fear of failure leads us to hook to an appealing fiction about our capabilities. We can rewrite the narrative to foster growth by addressing that fear straight ahead.

We must cultivate practices that promote self-reflection and emotional regulation to elevate our consciousness. Meditation, journaling, and therapy are powerful tools for developing the clarity needed to identify and challenge fictions. The goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty but to approach it with curiosity and courage rather than fear.

Breaking Free from Appealing Fictions

Breaking free from appealing fictions requires both awareness and action. Here are three practical strategies to help you overcome these limiting narratives:

  1. Practice Reflective Questioning

When you catch yourself believing something that feels too good to be true, pause and ask yourself:

  • What evidence supports this belief?
  • What evidence contradicts it?
  • Do I agree with this story because it’s easier than facing the truth?

Reflective questioning aids in uncovering hidden assumptions and challenges the validity of our beliefs.

This kind of self-inquiry is a powerful way to dismantle illusions and ground ourselves in reality.

  1. Seek Diverse Perspectives

Appealing fictions often thrive in echo chambers where our beliefs go unchallenged. And people who think freely are frequently not welcome or labeled as difficult people.

To break out, we should expose ourselves to diverse perspectives. Talk to people with life paths different from ours and a wide range of experiences. Read widely. And stay open to being wrong. The more you expand your worldview, the harder it becomes to cling to limiting narratives.

  1. Cultivate Emotional Resilience

Sometimes, the truth is painful. But avoiding it only prolongs the pain.

By building emotional resilience, we become better equipped to face complex realities without becoming overwhelmed.

The self-love journey encourages practices such as meditation, gratitude, and self-compassion to strengthen our capacity to confront uncomfortable truths with grace.

Conclusion

Appealing fictions are a natural response mechanism. And are part of our human experience. But they don’t have to define us.

By recognizing the stories we tell ourselves, we can seize those narratives for what they are. By confronting the truth, we take a crucial step toward a truthful life, personal growth, and self-respect.

Every time we challenge an appealing fiction, we reclaim a piece of our authentic selves.

Breaking free from appealing fictions isn’t about avoiding mistakes but the opposite. It’s about embracing the challenge of living authentically. And that’s a truth worth believing in.

As we move forward, remember this:

The stories we tell ourselves shape our reality. So, let’s choose them wisely.

Explore more on Arlene De Angelis and The Self-Love Journey

References:

  1. Psychology Today: “The Psychology of Decision-Making”
  1. Harvard Business Review: “The Hidden Trap of Decision-Making”
  • The Hidden Trap of Decision-Making
  1. NPR: “How Your Brain Constructs Reality”
  • How Your Brain Constructs Reality
  1. Greater Good Science Center: “The Science of Emotion Regulation”
  • The Science of Emotion Regulation
  1. Mindful: “What Is Mindfulness?”
  1. TED Talks: “Your body language may be more important than you think” by Amy Cuddy
  1. American Psychological Association (APA): “Understanding Decision Making”
  1. Verywell Mind: “Cognitive Biases: An Overview”
  1. Scientific American: “The Neuroscience of Decision-Making”
  1. Mindset Works: “The Power of a Growth Mindset”

Written by

I'm Arlene, the blogger behind "The Self-Love Journey."My path to understanding life has led me to realize life is a mirror that reflects what you hold dear.Thus, a life you love can only come from the love within. Its absence may lead to all sorts of unwanted results and perceived troubles, but its presence has the power to transform your world.Through exploring life's functioning, human consciousness, energy healing, and philosophical and mystical traditions, I'll guide you to uncover and overcome everything keeping you from loving yourself.One of the tools on which I rely in this process is Systemic Family Constellations, a therapeutic approach that helps to reveal hidden dynamics within a family or other social system.Here to lead you to self-love and create a life you love.Nowadays, I am a systemic family constellation practitioner, healer, and trauma student, and I occasionally consider myself a Civil Engineer M.C.M.I'm also a Free-spirit wanderlust, a mystic girl who loves beauty, nature, laughter, books, optimism, and, of course, loves love.

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