Understanding Love Types, Styles & How They Shape Relationships

Understanding the different types of love.

Love is one of the most fascinating forces in our lives. It shows up in countless songs, movies, and stories—and yet, no two experiences of love are ever the same. From the fiery passion of romantic love to the steady warmth of family bonds, love takes many shapes and colors, shaping how we connect with others.

In this article, we’ll explore the different shades of love, their influence on our relationships, and why understanding them can transform the way we love and are loved.

Table Of Contents

What is Love? – A Definition
- Limitations of Dictionary Definitions
The Many Faces of Love
Ancient Greek Perspectives: The Eight Types of Love
The Eight Types of Love According to the Ancient Greeks
Love Styles Explained: The 8 Types of Love
Interactive Quiz: Which Type of Love Are You In?

What is Love? – A Definition

Cambridge Dictionary:

To like another adult very much and be romantically and sexually attracted to them, or to have strong feelings of liking a friend or person in your family.

Oxford Dictionary:

A feeling or disposition of deep affection or fondness for someone, typically arising from a recognition of attractive qualities.

Limitations of Dictionary Definitions

While dictionaries give us a basic, transactional understanding of love, these definitions cannot capture the full depth, complexity, and transformative power of love. Love is not just attraction, fondness, or obligation—it is also a state of consciousness, a force that shapes our emotions, decisions, and relationships. Philosophers, mystics, and psychologists alike have long emphasized that true love extends beyond surface feelings: it involves empathy, self-awareness, commitment, and even spiritual growth.

In short, love is more than what words can define; it is something we experience, cultivate, and express in countless unique ways.

A more thorough yet accessible definition comes from the great yogi and mystic Sadhguru. In “The Sweetness of Love”, he says:

When you feel love, it means a sweetness of emotion has touched you. Because of this love—or because the emotions within you have sweetened—your life experience becomes beautiful. It’s not about someone or something. But about what has happened within you and with your feelings and emotions.

In other words, when we love someone, something transforms in how we feel. Love can take as many forms as there are objects of affection.

The Many Faces of Love

Acknowledging the multiple dimensions of love helps answer the timeless question:

“What is love?”

Saying “I love my family” expresses a different type of affection than love for a partner. Even though love is a universal frequency, how we express it depends on who or what we love.

One thing is for sure:

Love makes the world go round.
Or, at least, it continues to dominate the headlines of our hearts and minds. Indeed, it has been this way since ancient times.

Many of history’s greatest philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle, dedicated substantial thought to matters of the heart.

Ancient Greek Perspectives: The Eight Types of Love

To better understand love, the ancient Greeks identified eight distinct types. Their exploration helps us recognize the variety of ways humans can experience affection and connection.

Understanding these types of love lays the foundation for exploring our own relationships and the ways we connect with others.

The Eight Types of Love According to the Ancient Greeks

According to the ancient Greeks, love can be classified into eight distinct types, based on how we express affection and connection:

❤️ Eros: Physical love, sexual desire, and passion.
🤝 Philia: Affectionate love, the bond of deep friendship.
🌟 Agape: Unconditional, selfless, and often sacrificial love.
🏠 Storge: Familial love, the natural affection between family members.
🔥 Mania: Obsessive love, intense and sometimes unhealthy attachment.
🎲 Ludus: Playful love, casual, fun, and noncommittal.
⚖️ Pragma: Practical love, rooted in duty, logic, or long-term commitment.
🪞 Philautia: Self-love, the foundation for healthy relationships with others.

Love Styles Explained: The 8 Types of Love

These were defined in the article “The 8 Different Types of Love and How to Tap into Each for Happiness” by Laura Wabeke for Rituals magazine.

❤️ Eros – Romantic & Passionate Love

From the Original Greek word: ἔρως (érōs)

Eros refers to romantic, passionate love—physical love, sexual desire, and attraction. This is the love between lovers, the type you envision when thinking about a romantic partner.

It entails lust, romance, sensuality, arousal, and deep attraction.
In Greek mythology, Eros was the God of Love, later known as Cupid in Roman mythology.
Modern psychology refers to Eros as sexual desire or libido.
Words like erotic and erogenous originate from this root.

“Eros can be powerful. It can make people lose control.” – Cate Mackenzie, Psychosexual Relationship Therapist

Although intense, this love may be short-lived. Over time, it can evolve into a deeper, more stable form of love.

🤝 Philia – Affectionate / Friendship Love

From the Original Greek word: ϕιλία (philía)

Philia represents affectionate love, the bond of deep friendship. It’s more than physical attraction—it’s emotional closeness and shared experiences.

Plato suggested that Philia could lead to Eros, creating relationships where intimacy develops into passion.
It signifies love that brings together equals, where mind and heart are connected.
The modern concept of platonic love originates from Philia.

🌟 Agape – Unconditional & Selfless Love

From the Original Greek word: ἀγάπη (agápē)

Agape is unconditional, selfless, and often sacrificial love. It doesn’t expect anything in return but is willing to give everything.

Can be spiritual or empathic in nature.
Involves acceptance, forgiveness, and trust.
Examples: heroes who sacrifice for strangers, Jesus Christ’s selfless love.
Also applies to love for humankind or strangers.

🏠 Storge – Familial / Natural Love

From the Original Greek word: στοργή (storgé)

Storge is the natural love between family members: parents, children, siblings, cousins, grandparents.

Based on security, safety, and support.
Natural but not necessarily unconditional—it can vary depending on family dynamics.

🔥 Mania – Obsessive / Possessive Love

From the Original Greek word: μανία (manía)

Mania is obsessive love, intense and potentially unhealthy.

Can involve jealousy, codependency, and extreme attachment.
Modern use: obsessive behavior or “mania” in relationships.

🎲 Ludus – Playful / Noncommittal Love

From Latin ludus (play or game)

Ludus is playful love, carefree and casual.

Includes flirting, seduction, casual sex, and early-stage crushes.
Early-stage relationships, friends with benefits, one-night stands, or love as a “game.”
Inspired modern concepts like playful courtship.

⚖️ Pragma – Practical / Long-term Love

From the Original Greek word: πράγμα (prágma)

Pragma is practical love, based on duty, logic, or long-term considerations.

Common in arranged marriages or relationships with financial, social, or practical reasons.
Prioritizes the stability of the relationship over romance or passion.
Can also reflect mature, patient, long-lasting love.

🪞 Philautia – Self-love & Self-compassion

From the Original Greek word: ϕιλαυτία (philautía)

Philautia is about self-love and self-compassion, the foundation for healthy relationships with others.

Positive form: self-esteem, body positivity, healthy appreciation of oneself.
Negative extreme: hubris, narcissism, egoic attitudes.
Aristotle: “All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man’s feelings for himself.”

Practicing Philautia enables broader capacity to love others.

Modern Perspective & Takeaways

Some ancient types of love are now understood as distortions or mental health issues (e.g., obsessive love as unhealthy attachment).
Terms like “toxic relationships” stem from misaligned love types.
Healthy romantic relationships often require a combination of multiple love types.
Understanding these eight types helps us identify gaps, foster self-awareness, and pursue meaningful love.

For instance, the Second Commandment says, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself. “This implies that you love yourself first.

Also, read :

Powerful things you need to know about self-love.

Understanding the Different Kinds of Love Through Sternberg’s Triangular Theory

All the brilliant work done by the great Greek philosophers has brought us to the next stage of our quest: understanding the diverse forms of love and gaining deeper insight into the relationships we are part of.

While seeking to complete the missing parts of the puzzle of making sense and better understanding the different kinds of love, I found a compelling approach developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg. He is well-known for his work on love, intelligence, and creativity.

In his research, three love components are required for a successful and fulfilling relationship. When looking for a romantic partner, we’ll need the following onboard to give and receive love satisfyingly.

This theory is known as the Triangular Theory of Love, as explained in Simply Psychology. And no, it isn’t about a love triangle or a threesome.

The Three Components of Love

In summary, the three components of love, according to Sternberg, are:

Intimacy: About psychological closeness and emotional connection—being able to share feelings and thoughts.
Passion: Refers to romance, passionate love, and physical attraction.
Commitment: Involves the decision to remain in a long-term loving relationship and consciously stay together.

To conclude, in a relationship where all three components are present, the natural flow can be like this:

Passion is present at the earliest stage of the relationship.
As each partner’s knowledge is developed, intimacy is established.
The conscious decision to stay together brings commitment.

As we all know by now (and those of you cute little things who still don’t know this—wait for it…), many relationships are not like this.

Sometimes, you can be involved in a relationship where you’re more than aware of something being off, but it’s hard to wrap your thoughts around what exactly is lacking, missing, or, worse, cloying.

So, depending on the elements or pillars present or lacking in one relationship, we’ll likely encounter one of the following relationships or situationships—as is trendy nowadays.

Interactive Quiz: Which Type of Love Are You In?

Instructions: Read each question and click the button that best fits your situation. Then scroll down to see your results!

Step 1: Intimacy

Do you feel comfortable sharing your deepest thoughts with your partner?

A️⃣ Always → Intimacy is present
B️⃣ Sometimes → Partially intimate
C️⃣ Rarely → No intimacy

Step 2: Your Passion

Do you feel a strong physical attraction to your partner?

A️⃣ Always → Passion is present
B️⃣ Sometimes → Partially passionate
C️⃣ Rarely → No passion

Step 3: Your Commitment

Are you committed to a long-term relationship with this person?

A️⃣ Yes → Commitment is present
B️⃣ Somewhat → Commitment is partial
C️⃣ No → No commitment

Results

Consummate Love
You have intimacy, passion, and commitment. This is the ideal love—fulfilling, exciting, and lasting!

Companionate or Romantic Love⚖️
You have some pillars; focus on what’s missing. Companionate love has intimacy + commitment, Romantic love has intimacy + passion.

Nonlove or Empty Love
Intimacy, passion, and/or commitment are missing. It’s time to reflect on what you truly want in a relationship.

Understanding the Ways We Experience Love: What’s Missing Matters

Love isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some relationships feel effortless, while others seem like a puzzle missing pieces. According to the essay “Types of Love” in Developmental Psychology, love can be understood through three building blocks: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Depending on which pieces are present—or absent—we experience very different kinds of love.

Liking: Friendship or More?

This is intimacy without passion or commitment. Imagine a friendship where you can be your true self, share your thoughts, and feel genuinely close—but there’s no romantic spark. That’s liking. Deep, meaningful, but platonic.

Infatuation: The Rush of Chemistry

Ever felt that instant, all-consuming attraction—heart racing, mind spinning, chemistry off the charts? That’s infatuation. It’s thrilling, physical, and short-lived, often fading as quickly as it appeared.

Fatuous Love: Passion Without Depth

This is passion-driven commitment with no real intimacy. Picture couples swept up in a whirlwind romance, rushing into serious commitments before really knowing each other. Exciting? Yes. Sustainable? Not always.

Empty Love: Commitment Without Connection

Here, commitment exists, but intimacy and passion are absent. This can show up in relationships built around:

Practical needs (finances, living arrangements)
Religious or cultural agreements
Raising children
Social status

There’s little emotional connection or shared joy. On paper, it may look like “love,” but the heart may not be in it. Many people stay in such relationships, sometimes calling it love because it serves a purpose.

Romantic Love: Intimacy and Passion, No Commitment

In romantic love, intimacy and passion coexist, but there’s no long-term commitment. Couples enjoy closeness, laughter, and excitement together—but without an intention to build a lasting partnership.

Companionate Love: Commitment and Friendship

Here, intimacy and commitment are present, but passion may be low or gone. Think long-term partners or close friends who’ve chosen each other for life. Respect, care, and dedication are there—even if the spark has faded.

Consummate Love: The Complete Package

The dream team of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment all together. There’s closeness, physical attraction, friendship, and unwavering dedication. This is the type of love most people hope for—fulfilling, exciting, and lasting.

Additionally, Ronald E. Riggio, in his article for Psychology Today, “Which Type of Love Relationship Are You In?” added another type:

Nonlove: When None of the Pieces Are There

No intimacy, no passion, no commitment. These are brief, casual, or transactional interactions—friend-of-a-friend-level relationships that rarely touch the heart.

Why Understanding Love Matters

Knowing these types of love does more than satisfy curiosity. It helps you:

Recognize what’s missing in your relationships
Identify patterns in your love life
Make conscious choices about the kind of love you want

When you understand what real love looks like, you gain clarity. You learn to step into it—and to recognize it when it shows up. That’s how you create a love life that’s truly joyful, lasting, and fulfilling.