Life has a funny way of opening doors right when we stop trying to kick them down. And without planning it — and certainly without craving “one more certification” — I somehow found myself doing the very thing I swore I wouldn’t do anytime soon: studying again.
Yet here I am, fully immersed in the official Polyvagal Institute program — the one my nervous system had been quietly nudging me toward — right alongside my ongoing trauma studies with PESI under Dr. Bessel van der Kolk.
Something in me knew this was important. Not just the kind of “important” you feel in your head, but the kind that sits deep in your body whispering, this will change everything. Understanding the nervous system — truly understanding it — is one of the most powerful pathways to self-love, healing, and genuine transformation.
And honestly? It feels incredibly satisfying to anchor my work in grounded, peer-reviewed science… especially when that science helps me support people in ways that feel safer, deeper, and more impactful.
Of course, this chapter didn’t begin today. It’s built upon years of integrating nervous system work and Polyvagal principles inside The Self-Love Journey™, guiding people to love themselves enough to create lives they actually want to wake up to.
Look at you, Arlene De Angelis. I always knew you’d find a way. Somehow you always do.
(Yes, I hype myself up. Someone has to.)
I’ve seen firsthand how understanding the nervous system reshapes self-perception, transforms relationships, and expands our capacity to thrive. And now, with formal training deepening what my heart already practices, this work feels more aligned than ever.
Why Polyvagal Studies Matter for Self-Love and Healing
The Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, reveals a simple truth with life-changing consequences:
The way we feel inside shapes the way we show up to life.
Our nervous system determines whether we protect, connect, collapse, over-function, or open — and therefore whether we can access self-love, intimacy, creativity, and joy.
If you want to explore Dr. Stephen Porges’ work more deeply, you can learn more on his official site: Stephen Porges.
My studies at the Polyvagal Institute are now giving language and structure to what I’ve intuitively witnessed for years:
- Safety is the doorway to transformation.
- Healing unfolds through connection, not isolation.
- The story you tell yourself is shaped by how your body feels, not just by what your mind thinks.
This is why Polyvagal studies are becoming a core pillar inside The Self-Love Journey™ — because you can’t build a life you love inside a body that doesn’t feel safe enough to inhabit.
Years of Nervous System Work (Long Before the Certification)
Long before I formally enrolled, the nervous system wasn’t just something I studied — it was something I survived.
I know firsthand what it feels like to live inside a completely dysregulated nervous system. I don’t even need to dig into old stories (trust me, if I told you everything, you’d cry). It’s enough to say this:
Leading a construction company for a thousand years — yes, to me it absolutely felt like a thousand —
was the closest thing to working in a 24/7 emergency room without actually being a doctor.
Deadlines.
Materials delayed.
Workers not showing up.
Clients whose expectations required divine intervention.
Honestly, if I had gone to medical school, I’m convinced the ER would have been less stressful.
It took me years to come back to myself…
years to regulate…
years to stabilize again.
Especially because so little support exists.
If you’re overwhelmed, you get:
“Here, take this pill,”
or “You’re fine, it’s in your head.”
But it wasn’t in my head.
It was in my body.
Maybe that’s why this work became so personal — why integrating these practices, and doing it through science, feels not just important, but necessary.
Long before any certification, I was already weaving nervous system principles into everything I did:
- family constellations
- trauma-informed coaching
- somatic work
- energy practices
- meditation and breathwork
- and all the inner engineering that shaped me long before I had the vocabulary for it
Maybe people didn’t know the term polyvagal, but they felt it:
- when their body softened enough to forgive
- when they could hold truth without collapsing
- when they finally felt worthy of their own dreams
That is nervous system healing in action — before the language arrives.
So What Does This Mean for My Work?
In truth? Everything.
Because now, more than ever, Arlene De Angelis | The Self-Love Journey™ stands at the exact intersection I’ve spent years cultivating:
- neuroscience meets mysticism
- trauma meets transformation
- energy meets embodiment
- compassion meets accountability
This is where self-love stops being a concept and becomes physiology, regulation, and emotional literacy.
It means I can support people not just to “feel better,” but to feel rooted, regulated, empowered, and self-led.
What Studying Polyvagal Theory Has Confirmed
✨ We cannot heal in environments — internal or external — where our body doesn’t feel safe.
✨ You don’t think your way out of trauma; you co-regulate, then integrate.
✨ Healthy relationships depend less on intention and more on nervous system coherence.
When you understand this, self-love stops being a luxury or a pretty idea.
It becomes a biological necessity.
A Few Polyvagal-Informed Practices You Can Try
1. Speak safety to your body
Hand on chest, slowly say:
I am here. I am safe. I am with me.
2. Vagus-nerve breathing
Inhale for 6 seconds.
Exhale for 6 seconds.
Repeat for 3 minutes.
3. Co-regulation
Sit near someone or something grounding — a pet, a tree, sunlight, or a voice that feels like home.
These simple practices are the beginnings of healing and the foundation of creating a life you love.
Where This Journey Is Leading
Healing is personal — but never private.
The more regulated we become, the softer our world feels.
That’s why this path isn’t about collecting titles — it’s about cultivating presence and offering tools that genuinely support healing. I often wish my mother had found this knowledge earlier in her life. She searched for help in so many places, yet none of it truly reached her. Now, as she walks through this tender final chapter of her life’s journey, my commitment deepens even more. If what I learn can support even one person, then the pain we’ve carried — hers and mine — won’t have been in vain.
The more I study, the more The Self-Love Journey™ becomes a bridge between ancient wisdom, modern neuroscience, and embodied transformation.
If you’d like to explore more about Dr. Porges, NICABM has a beautiful expert profile that offers a clear overview of his work: NICABM – Stephen Porges.
Want to Go Deeper With Me?
✨ Explore The Self-Love Journey™ Program
This isn’t theory.
It’s your life.
Your peace.
Your reclamation.
Walking This Path Together
As I move deeper into these studies, I’m reminded of something simple and sacred:
we don’t heal alone, and we don’t heal all at once.
We heal gently.
In layers.
In breath-sized moments.
In the quiet decision to come back to ourselves again and again.
I’m grateful for this chapter — not because it gives me credentials, but because it gives me better tools, deeper presence, and steadier grounding to walk beside you.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for choosing your own healing.
And thank you for letting me be part of your journey.
We rise one nervous system at a time — and somehow, we do it together.
✨ Stay connected:
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Love yourself enough to create a life you love
— Arlene De Angelis
If you are ready to not just know yourself but inhabit yourself,
this is where the journey deepens — your nervous system becomes your ally.