Spot emotional extortion: Recognizing emotional blackmail.
Self-awareness and understanding your emotions are vital for identifying if another person is manipulating or controlling your feelings. Spotting emotional extortion is crucial for your mental health and well-being.
When you spot emotional extortion, you’ll notice you are probably out of control of your own life.
You may also be forced, perhaps unconsciously, to live life on another person’s terms.
As we previously mentioned in the post, Being a Hostage of Yourself
You may feel stuck, unsure of what to do in a relationship, if someone trying to emotionally manipulate you.
Emotional manipulation, or extortion, occurs every time a person forces or coerces you to prioritize their needs to the exclusion of your own needs and considerations.
If you often hesitate to express your feelings about something due to the negative way they react to even the slightest disagreement, you may be held captive by social norms or expectations, guilt, shame, or threats.
However, it’s important to remember that the manipulative person has not taken away your power to act. Your feelings about the situation may hold you back, but you can still act independently.
According to” How To Tell If You Are An Emotional Hostage And What To Do About It” by the Regain Editorial Team, it’s you to be more or less prone to fall prey to this kind of situation.
So, in a sense, spotting emotional extortion is about reclaiming your power and autonomy.
Therefore, self-awareness is not just crucial; it’s empowering. It enables you to identify and spot emotional extortion and regain control of your emotions and circumstances.
Degrees:
For instance, a minor form to spot emotional extortion could be when your partner dismisses your feelings. Meanwhile, a large form could be when they threaten to harm themselves if you leave.
The first one can be misinterpreted as something insignificant. However, in the long run, it can not only drain you emotionally and psychologically but even demoralize you.
Imagine a life where what you feel doesn’t matter.
Where can that take you?
In the second case, if they threaten you with harm if you leave, I don’t know if you realize the severity of this situation.
Far from being a token of love, we are in a severe case of emotional kidnapping. The most advisable is to seek immediate help from your circle of trust and professional help.
If you need help to spot emotional extortion in specific situations, consider the following questions:
You should know that being a victim of emotional extortion can take various forms. It can range from subtle to severe and can occur as a one-time event or a recurring pattern.
An occasional tantrum for someone to make you feel bad and get what they want from you can show a degree of immaturity in this person.
While this doesn’t necessarily indicate a danger signal, it’s a warning sign and an invitation to question whether you want to be with someone like this.
However, the severity of emotional extortion should not just be a wake-up call but a compelling reason to be cautious and take immediate, necessary actions.
If emotional extortion is a one-time incident, moving forward is more feasible.
However, you must be watchful and alert if you are trapped in recurring emotional extortion.
Remember, you possess the power within you to overcome this. However, do not allow yourself at any time to underestimate the importance of this situation.
You can take the necessary steps to regain control of your emotions and circumstances and actively protect yourself.
You can overcome any emotional extortion by taking the proper actions and seeking necessary help.
To help you identify if your situations may be emotional extortion cases, you can consider the following questions in concern your relationship:
Do you feel empowered, knowing your options and understanding your best choice?
Do you feel that information is withheld from you?
Can you express your desires?
Do you feel self-assured?
Can you act on your desires without interference?
This self-confidence is pivotal in identifying emotional extortion, empowering you to assert your needs and boundaries.
Building resilience and self-confidence can be a gradual process, but it’s essential for your emotional well-being.
It involves recognizing your strengths, setting realistic goals, and learning to cope with challenges and setbacks.
Do you feel like the other person is considering your feelings?
Is this an isolated problem or indicative of a negative behavior pattern?
If you think you may be in a relationship where someone is constantly holding you emotionally hostage, here are some more questions to ask yourself:
Is the relationship frequently draining your energy, confidence, enthusiasm, etc.?
Do you feel your partner uses your perceived obligations to manipulate or coarse you, your activities, and or your freedom?
Are you too careful about what you say or do because you fear that person’s reaction?
Does he or she do things that make you question your reality, such as hide?
Do you feel stuck or unsure of what to do regularly as a result of someone trying to emotionally manipulate you?
Are you feeling forced or coerced to prioritize the other person’s needs?
Do you need to take care of other people’s needs before or to the exclusion of your own needs and considerations?
Don’t fall into the trap of believing that it matters whether the other person does this consciously or unconsciously, whether it is active or passive.
Also, know that even though emotional extortion or manipulation can be pretty blatant in some instances, it may be very subtle and more difficult to spot at other times.
Remember, there is nothing wrong with expressing your feelings or needs. In fact, it’s essential for your emotional well-being.
Be gentle, but remember you have the right to meet your needs and feel secure enough to do so in a healthy relationship.
If you’re interested in learning more about emotional extortion and how to deal with it, several books and articles are available that can provide you with more in-depth information and strategies.
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