Finding balance in the mists of chaos.
As counterproductive as it may seem when you already have too much on your plate with so much to attend to and many things at stake, the truth is that honoring ourselves and prioritizing ourselves should be our primary goal.
When we don’t, it’s a clear sign that we have lost sight of life itself and its purpose.
I am in serious trouble if I am living the life that is expressing itself through me, and I am not essential and prioritized in my own life.
I have sat in the passenger seat in my own life and let someone else, God knows who, at the wheel. Or, it happens often, too: no one else is in the driver’s seat.
And we’ve all seen some action movie where there’s no one at the wheel, right?
Tragic.
Although you may have a thousand and one arguments that try to validate why you have given so much importance to external things (work, rent, house, bills, etc.), always remember who these things are or should be at the service of.
They are all supposed to serve you, not the other way around.
Finding balance becomes an impossible task when we’re not even on the list. Can you spot it?
And although it’s clear the responsibilities of a mother are different from all of the above, they have something in common.
All of them require your presence.
It will only be possible for you to fulfill all of them if you are there. It seems like a joke, but it’s very serious.
Robin Sharma says that to achieve great things, the first thing to accomplish is not to die.
We must care for ourselves to perform well in our jobs and motherhood. Our well-being is essential.
Now, how can we start doing so?
I. Introduction to finding balance in our lives:
A. importance of self-care
I can’t address this enough:
Self-care and self-love are not luxury items to buy when you can spare. A pillar and fundamental value of my work is to make us (me included) understand and remember that the quality of our lives is determined by what we think, feel, and believe.
In this way, taking care of ourselves becomes the best tool to create satisfactory results in our lives; therefore, it also contributes to the success of our work as mothers.
B. The Struggles of Balancing Work and Motherhood
Firstly, Many working mothers struggle to find a balance between work and motherhood, often neglecting their own needs. This feeling of being alone in the struggle is all too familiar, yet we frequently believe that it only happens to us and that no one can understand.
It can be incredibly challenging when the children are young. But later on, as they grow up, different kinds of attention grabbers will arise, often as absorbing as the ones faced in their younger years. These two aspects of our lives perform as if they were full-time jobs in parallel, expecting our undivided attention.
Anyhow, each stage will demand different adjustments and skills development from us.
Nevertheless, Extremely defiant is managing the mom guilt that comes with going to work and leaving your babies behind. Or the other way around.
However, finding balance in life involves learning to relate to ourselves with grace and kindness, which we can achieve by honoring ourselves, regardless of the role we are fulfilling at any given time.
C. Preview of strategies for prioritizing self-love
Given the increasing pressure in our worlds to prioritize work and motherhood, finding time to care for ourselves can be difficult. The sense of urgency associated with these responsibilities may make self-care feel impossible.
However, let’s first understand what to do before delving into how to do it.
Let’s delve into the strategies to help us love and nurture ourselves.
These are not quick fixes but long-term practices that can bring balance and well-being into our lives.
Starting from considering the season we’re in.
If you just gave birth, there’s a process for that, and you need to acknowledge where you are. Give up on unrealistic expectations and not try to be the super productive, strong woman you were perhaps a month ago. Give yourself some grace. Stop making implausible, mean demands you will not dare to do to anyone else.
Prioritize your partner if you have one. Most of us tend to do the opposite, putting our offspring before everything else and drifting away from them. That would only open a crack in your life and system in the long run. Find a balance that works for both of you and keep the door open to improvement, change, and communication.
Wherever you are, be there.
Remember this:
- Don’t try to do it all.
- Work on letting go of mom’s guilt.
- Be present.
- When you’re with your kids, try to avoid multitasking by doing work while with them.
- When you’re at work, resist the urge to micromanage everything at home.
- Wherever you are, be fully present.
Have Rest:
Remember to prioritize rest, even if it means waking up before the kids. Don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed; it shows strength and self-awareness. Actively seek ways to make this happen, and remember that you’re not alone in this journey.
II. Recognizing the Need for Self-Care
Why Honoring Yourself?
Now that we’ve discussed what to do, let’s explore why prioritizing self-care is essential.
We will feel miserable if we neglect ourselves and impose unrealistic demands on ourselves, constantly criticizing ourselves for what we haven’t achieved or failed to do.
Neglecting our needs can have detrimental effects on our overall well-being. When we don’t prioritize our needs, such as getting enough rest, we may experience fatigue, hindering our ability to perform at our best and think clearly. It’s important to acknowledge the impact of neglecting self-care and take steps to prioritize our mental and physical well-being.
Acknowledging personal needs and limitations
Knowing our needs and limitations can save us from a life of bitterness.
I used to believe I could handle everything and more in life -to do it all, but it wasn’t enjoyable. I was exhausted and grumpy.
However, I realized that it’s essential to find balance and not overextend myself. I also noticed that some people succeed with less effort, and I’m learning to appreciate their approach and find ways to work smarter, not just harder.
It’s a new perspective that I’m embracing. Nowadays, I realize these people were acting with a higher intelligence than I was back then.
Knowing that I have needs and honoring them while recognizing my many limitations allows me to loosely and graciously fulfill what is within my reach and, what is more, my responsibility.
Do your part from a place of love.
Taking our place is beautiful. It allows others to occupy their own with dignity. And to fulfill the roles that correspond to them.
Finding balance
III. Time Management and Prioritization
As working women, many do not include our needs and, why not, our desires into the equation when scheduling tasks and time.
And still, we dare to complain.
We tend to prioritize everything and everyone above us on the list, and then we wonder why we feel overwhelmed. We need to realize that we are the ones setting the priorities. Girl, we are the ones making the list. Come on: Wake up!
It’s crucial to learn to give ourselves the same importance and urgency that we provide to everything else. Finding balance is impossible if you do not consider yourself as worthy of time as anything else, at least.
In the process of unlearning what no longer serves us and learning and building something new, a good mantra to keep in mind would be:
“My needs are as important as everything else that’s important in my life.”
A. Allocating time for self-care activities
Self-love and self-care are way more and beyond superficial activities. However, having a nice outer image with which you are at peace and content will go a long way in helping you have a healthy relationship with your inner image.
With that in mind, doing our nails or hair is a smart choice for improving our images, external and self-image.
Let’s make some ME time alone or accompanied, but look to have a little fun as this impacts your overall well-being.
Make wise use of your time to include these activities that will help you enhance your health and quality of life.
B. Setting boundaries and realistic expectations
“Establish clear and healthy boundaries with the people around us and define what is non-negotiable. At the same time, ensure realistic expectations according to the stage of life we are in. We shouldn’t aim to have the same kind of wild freedom we had when we were teenagers. Let’s use some common sense.”
IV. Self-Compassion and Acceptance
A. Embracing imperfections
Our peak energy, best moment, or most remarkable capacity to accomplish tasks and goals will change throughout different stages of life.
Expecting our performance to constantly improve and to be a straight upward line is an unrealistic recipe for frustration.
Instead, accepting our imperfections with active compassion can lead to greater success in the long run.
B. Overcoming guilt and self-criticism. The Power of Self-Compassion and Acceptance
Therefore, we are doing ourselves a great favor if we train ourselves to refrain from negative self-talk and break free from addiction to lower emotions, including guilt and shame and destructive habits and practices such as self-criticism.
During challenging times, parents can find strength and reassurance through the use of these parenting affirmations.
V. Nurturing Mental and Physical Well-being while finding balance
A. Incorporating exercise and healthy eating habits
Physical exercise and good nutrition are essential for both physical and mental health. Our bodies hold emotional memories, and exercise can help release them. Similarly, maintaining good nutrition is crucial for mental health, as our gut health relates to our mental well-being. Failing to balance work and motherhood can lead to anxiety-driven eating, which can negatively impact our well-being.
B. Seeking support for mental health while finding balance
No matter what stage we are in, life must be enjoyed and lived in joy and love. Don’t let yourself be convinced otherwise. If you are not living in a place that is pleasant for you, seek help.
And we need to acknowledge the fact that when we add children to our mental load, it can feel overwhelming. The emotional and cognitive work it takes to handle tasks is also often called “invisible work” because it focuses on the assignment’s backstage aspects.
VI. Building a Support System
It is human nature to be tribal, and this is particularly relevant when we have children.
If our original tribe is not within our reach, let’s find an alternative tribe.
Look again and take a closer look.
Breathe and calm down.
Now, look at the resources that may be available to you. Be curious.
B. Seeking emotional support from friends and family
Do not assume anything.
Like everyone should know, you are tired and need help.
Don’t go down that road. Express what you need, and do it with as many people as possible to meet it.
To do otherwise will only bring you useless pain.
VII. Embracing Joy and Hobbies
A. Pursuing personal interests and hobbies
Don’t forget about yourself. That’s just a recipe for failure.
The fact of being a mother and having a job and responsibilities is not and should never be an excuse to forget we have likes and dreams.
Our brain appreciates having hobbies and interests that make us smile and give us some illusion.
B. Finding balance: moments of joy in everyday life
Something fundamental is that life is what is happening right now, not what it will be when it all passes.
Embracing the chaos and finding joy in the everyday moments by being grateful for what we have will bring us more reasons to be thankful.
VIII. Conclusion on finding balance:
Recognize the stage we are at in our life. Look at ourselves with compassion and let go of negative self-talk. Establishing a support network and acknowledging that we deserve as much care as our work or children are fundamental to finding balance.
No matter how challenging the moment is or how urgent everything seems.
Always remember:
We are mothers or workers to the same extent we can sustain our own lives.
Neglecting our physical, mental, or emotional health is not a sustainable strategy over time. So putting ourselves first is, at the same time, a way to guarantee our permanence and effectiveness for our children and careers.
So, the following are great questions to keep evolving the answers as we go through work and motherhood:
“How can I prioritize self-care effectively while balancing work and motherhood?”
What practical strategies can I implement to nurture and love myself while handling demanding responsibilities now?
How can I establish a healthy balance between caring for my children, focusing on work, and prioritizing my well-being?
Finding balance in the mists of chaos
